working thru

Finding myself really inspired tonight. I am watching BJ's clips reel that he has set up as an intro for his college application. The idea that he is one of many very talented people whom I know and am friends with. In contrast, I sometimes think that I haven't any talent, or at least in the same way. I am producing a film that requires the contribution of many talented people all working along with me. That knowledge frightens me from time to time. I wonder how I can pull it off. Also, wonder why anyone would work with me on something so big of a plan. Well, luckily so many have before, or else I wouldn't have dreamed up the idea in the first place I suppose. But, it takes a few of these evenings of humility and reflection about the past and future to remind me of the need to have some gusto in the long and hard-work process. What else can I do. I may end up losing a lot of money and time following a specific urge to go beyond what I have ever done before. I may end up with a 9-5 just to make ends meet as my share of the family input, or tending to the home for lack of the former. I do know, that I am not nor have been satisfied with either thus far. So, determination and a little creativity and many long hours of work stand before me to see what it will be. Hopefully I wont fuck it up. Too many times been rebuilding character and momentum. Got to get it right some of the times. As Shane said, out of every 10 things he does, nine go wrong, but the one that does go right seems worth it. Just paraphrasing, not sure the exact words, but the point has gotten out. Lots of friends to inspire. Just got to appreciate. I suppose the return exchange is there. What a lucky guy. The reflection helps. Adds to the believability that it is not bullshit and that it is the most human experience that I can get. Not as cut and dry as I might have imagined it all, but experience has taught me one thing. no right or wrong, just perspective and distance from the actual thing. Nice to know that many are trying. Not all have gotten it right all the time, but still trying. Thanx BJ.